Finally, we got in the ring with Volbeat last night! After having endured one year of being impatient -as I’d already bought the tickets back in September ’16- we drove into the Strijp-S area on our way to the famous Philips old ‘Klokgebouw’, and all of sudden a huge festival area arised…slowly it occurred to us that Volbeat might be playing there instead of at the Klokgebouw...

After another round of beer, we paved our way through the crowd close enough to the ‘boxing ring’. The beautifully orchestrated show started off with one of my favorite songs ‘The Devil’s Bleeding Crown’, the opening song of their latest album ‘Seal the Deal.’ After this theatrical opening, Volbeat’s full blown guitar riffs, awesome drum bass sounds and THE voice of lead singer Michael Poulsen filled the whole Strijp-S area and beyond (according to quite a few tweets of heavily annoyed people haha). 

I was torn between staying in the moment and wanting to capture every second of this amazing show packed with fireworks, awesome footage, smoking machines, fire and ‘used toilet paper,’ as Michael joked around:

I couldn’t resist getting some footage of their new song teasing the crowd for their upcoming new album, if I remember correctly it’s called ‘Justify’ and of course 'Lola Montez' and 'For Evigt' had to be captured as well:

For the 3rd year in a row, we saw Life of Agony at a venue in Eindhoven. Last year, at ‘Het Klokgebouw’ headlining the ‘Sound of Revolution’ and the previous year at the same venue as last night, the ‘Effenaar’ (as I’ve outlined also in my previous blog about ‘My best memories of Life of Agony’ of the past 25 years). And just like 2 years ago, they kicked off with ‘River Runs Red,’ paving the way for a lot more songs to be played from that iconic ‘90s album. Pleasing the crowd all over again! 

My friend had said upfront ‘I’m not going to be ‘headbanging’ tonight as my neck is already sore’. But as soon as Joey Z played the first guitar riff, she couldn’t help herself. Unlike the year before at ‘Het Klokgebouw’ where the crowd was too wild and too drunk, the crowd at the Effenaar seemed a lot more respectful to women. So, we did end up just behind the front row. I just couldn’t resist, I had to see the whole band up-close for once and feel their energy. How awesome! Mina and the guys are so intense and you can feel the love for their fans. By the end of the show Mina stood with her arms wide open taking it all in. She was so happy and almost started to cry.

Aside from playing almost every song of River Runs Red album, they only played a couple of songs from their other albums. ‘Lost at 22 - Ugly’ (which has been selected as one of the best metal songs of the 90s by Metal Hammer) and ‘Weeds – Soul Searching Sun’ as you can see in the video below including a short introduction by Mina interacting with the crowd:

I really wanted to hear those songs live as I was hoping they’d be even more intense then listening to those at home. And they were! Screaming along with ‘World gone madddd’,  ‘Dead Speak Kindly’ (a song that feels and sounds to me like a tribute to Lane Staley of Alice in Chains), and ‘A Place where there’s no more pain’:

I don’t believe in coincidences, but I do believe in signs. And this sign reassured me that I should follow my instincts and passion for LOA and get started with this blog leading up to my 8th LOA concert upcoming Monday...

What I do remember is that the year after in '97, I had quite the experience with LOA…Being a student, I couldn’t afford going to all festivals and simply had to choose. So, I didn’t get a ticket for ‘A Campingflight to Lowlands Paradise’ where LOA would play again. Fortunately, I knew some guys from the record label ‘Epitaph’ (The Offspring, Pennywise, NOFX etc.) who knew some guys at Roadrunner Records, LOA's record label back then…And we ran into one of the guys of Epitaph at our favorite rockbar ‘Sam Sam’ in Amsterdam on the night before their gig at Lowlands. He said that some band members of Life of Agony were going to do a signing session that night at the music store Fame in Amsterdam.

So, I joked around saying ‘maybe we can get ourselves on their guest list…’ as I wasn’t particularly interested in their signatures, but I was dying to see them play. And as you’ll have guessed by now, for about an hour or so of walking around the music store, the Epitaph guy was trying to get in touch with LOA's tour manager. Finally, he came back saying, ‘He girls, good news, you’re on LOA's guest list tomorrow night!’ I truly didn’t believe him, but he was quite convinced, so we gave him a big hug and went back to the Sam Sam bar in complete disbelieve. 

As Keith wasn't present at the signing session, we were wondering where he would be. Knowing he loved Amsterdam and his love for smoking ‘weeds' he might as well be at a coffee shop. The bar tender had heard rumours Keith was at a coffee shop down the road and we could not help ourselves to check it out. And yes, there he was, sitting at the bar, looking pretty stoned while holding a joint…

​Initially, I didn’t dare to walk up to him, and finally I had the guts as this would be my one and only chance of ever being able to have a chat with him. And so I did, I can’t exactly remember what I said and what he said, but I do recall that he was really nice to us and that I told him that his tour manager put us on the guest list. Keith said he was looking forward to see us at the show.

But still, we were in complete disbelieve of everything that had happened that night, still not sure if we should even go to Lowlands. What if we weren’t on the guest list, that would be quite a trip all for nothing…(3-4 hrs of trains/buses and we didn’t even know where to pick up the VIP bands…). The next morning, we decided that we should take the chance, as I would regret it for the rest of my life for not trying. 

So, we jumped on the train with our backpacks, no tent included, but we did know some friends were at the festival hoping they would give us some shelter that night… After a long ride by trains and buses and looking for the VIP entrance walking around the festival area for a couple of hours, completely drained from the rain, we finally found it.

We entered the VIP tent and said with a bit of hesitation that we were on the guest list of Life of Agony…And of course we weren’t…But I was so focused on getting to their concert and told the whole story mentioning the tour managers name etc. They made a few calls to verify our story, and then (even though they weren’t quite convinced) they ended up giving us a VIP band…We were sooo surprised and above all happy! We had to run though, as the LOA show started at 19.00 and we only had half an hour to get in and drop our backpacks somewhere. And as soon as Joey hit his first guitar riff we entered the festival tent. We made it!

Following the release of ‘Soul Searching Sun’ just one month later, Keith decided to leave Life of Agony which was quite the shock. But somehow, we all knew it was for the best at the time. Ugly Kid Joe singer Whitfield Crane joined Life of Agony during their Soul Searching Sun tour the following year and I saw them at De Melkweg in Amsterdam. Crane, with his great voice as he proofed once again when I went to see Ugly Kid Joe in Amsterdam last year, sung their songs with so much respect, however it wasn’t the same without Keith…And the band members felt the same way in the end according to Life of Agony’s Wikipedia page.

And then there was silence, at least from my end…Life of Agony toured for quite a while and all of the members took on various side projects, and to be reunited for the first time in 2003, but I didn’t get to see them. In 2005, I migrated to Australia and to be honoust, I had lost track of Life of Agony and Keith by then, still listening to their music though. 

Then I decided to find out if they were heading over to The Netherlands for a show and to my surprise they were! I bought tickets for their show on the 15th of June at the Effenaar, once again in Eindhoven. A wonderful small venue. Although her voice was a bit different, I guess a bit higher, it still felt like Life of Agony. I was so excited to hear their major songs live again after all those years (see pics and review by Rockportaal). Mina said a big thank you to the crowd for embracing her for who she is:

One year later, we saw them again in Eindhoven. This time at the old Philips Klokgebouw as they were headlining ‘The Sound of Revolution’ in front of a much larger audience. Somehow, we had this stupid idea of walking all the way to the front row, not realising the crowd was already pumped up by the likes of Madball and Ignite. During the first song we lost each other, got hit in the heads and with beer poured all over us we found each other again after a couple of songs. We decided that we’re not up for this stuff anymore and went halfway in the back, just behind the pit. Being afraid of losing my Iphone while recording, I only dared to make one video during the slow part of 'Bad Seed.' The crowd was so excited and so was I. And I decided to stay in the moment and scream along with the songs.

 As LOA already mentioned at their last concert, they were working on a new album. In april 2017, they released their new single ‘World gone mad‘ and I loved it straight away with the full blown guitar riffs and Mina’s fierce voice and lyrics.  I just couldn’t wait for the whole album to be released. This album has been growing on me ever since. Bits and pieces keep on popping in my head ‘How long, how long to right this wrong…’ is one of them…

​From there, we went to Aarhus for 1 day and started at Den Gamle By. A truly amazing and authentic open air museum where you travel back in time and experience how people lived between the 1600-1975. Fully furnished houses, old bakeries with Danish delicacies, people dressed in style, a little boutique with clothing and hats from the 50’s/60’s and the kids enjoying the antique fairground, to name a couple of fun things to do and see there. Also, the girls fancied a horse-drawn carriage ride, and so we did. Not worth it by the way, even the girls were disappointed (a 3-minute ride for 18 euros/ 170DK…!).

​The ARoS museum was next on our itinerary. Unfortunately, the museum closed at 5pm and we only had 45 minutes left. We wanted to see ‘Your panorama rainbow’ on the top of the building, but they didn't sell separate tickets. Hopefully, we can make it another day and explore this wonderful museum and exhibitions as well.

Starting off as a 55-year-old diesel engine, ​gradually the oil was running through his throat and became better, higher, lower, and getting up to speed during my favourite song ‘Estranged’.  ​I used to listen to this song in bed at night, lights off and slowly fall asleep…Slash’s guitar riffs are so moving… And so was ‘Civil War’, a song that still resonates.

Loaded like freight train…Flyin’ like an aeroplane…’ Night train’ was the perfect follow up song. And then as a worthy anti-climax, the first few guitar notes of the next song gave me the shivers…’Black Hole Sun’…tears in my eyes straight away. This tribute to Chris Cornell was truly magical and sung with so much respect by Axl.

Suddenly, I found myself standing on a pick nick table, rocking and headbanging to the remaining songs with some fellow fans. Whistling along with ‘Patience’, shouting ‘Well, well, well, My Michelle’ and jumping in my pink rain boots on the beats of ‘Paradise City’, the final big bang of an awesome, amazing rock legend night!

​Thanks Axl, Duff and Slash (and Angus Young!) for this once ‘in my lifetime’ experience and I’ve become even more appreciative of your iconic music. Another great thing I can cross off my bucket list!

For anyone who just can’t process what has happened. Obviously I’m talking about Chris and Manchester. Eddie didn’t want to talk about the ‘obvious’ as he sort of admitted. It felt like that if he would say ‘Chris’ out loud, he would just have a complete breakdown right there and then. Or using his own words: ‘I’ve been trying to keep it together for the last couple of days.’ 

​I've never been to one of his solo shows, only to various Pearl Jam shows throughout the past 25 years. And I always imagined Eddie singing just for me (how selfish…) by closing my eyes while listening to his songs. So, last night, I did the same thing. Throughout each song I would close my eyes for a bit and just listen to his voice. I just can’t think of any superlatives to describe it, but his voice must be from outtaspace, so mesmerising!

Throughout the show he ‘fucked’ up some parts as he said himself, forgetting lyrics and feeling like he had an ‘out of body’ experience. But that just showed me he’s as human as a human being can or should be. And after each ‘fuck up’ he would pull himself together again, and performed even better than I’ve ever seen anyone perform in my whole history of a long list of concerts I’ve been to in the past 28 years…and I’m not exaggerating! And he followed through right until the end.

Just before Eddie started to perform, someone next to me asked which song I would love to hear, and I said ‘Last Kiss’. And my wish was granted! As soon as Eddie started playing the first few notes, I went all teary and couldn’t stop. There’s one sentence in the song that touches me to me the very core as sung by Eddie, ‘Oh where Oh where will my baby be… the Lord took her away from me…’

​Another magical moment (one of many!!) was when the Red Limo String Quartet from Utrecht played along with ‘Come back.’ Looking at the stars in the background and listening to Eddie’s voice, I felt weightless like I was flying through the sky. The strings completely ‘elevated’ this song. I’m so happy that Eddie asked them to join him throughout the tour (which he only decided that day). (Photo by Raymond van Olphen)

I don’t think this show can be topped, not even by the Dutch ‘Toppers.’ ;-) Both Eddie and Glen made a bit of fun of them, being grateful that a famous opera singer chose to go their show instead of the ‘Toppers’ show last Saturday night. But still, the Toppers united thousands and thousands of people who honored the 1 minute of silence for Manchester, the videos on Youtube were breathtaking. That goes way beyond your own taste of music or entertainment…
​
Glen being sick and all, still stood by his friend singing and playing along and even fulfilled Eddie’s request to get back on the stage to sing Glen’s own song 'Song of good hope' which they hadn’t rehearsed. A spur of the moment decision which Eddie really needed and finally brought him to tears as well, it was heartbreaking.

I just love the power of art, to be able to process and express your feelings with an outlet that’s so empowering for other people too. Painting, singing, dancing, playing music, theatre, going to a museum, you name it. I can’t believe that governments are just ignoring the fact that art and culture bring out the best in people, can unite them and provide them with a platform to able to deal with this ‘big hard world’ as Eddie and Glen were singing at the top of their lungs at the end of the show.

This memory will linger on for a long time…
​
I am still in awe. Love you Eddie!

Keeping track of the news during the day and seeing all the messages being posted on social media, mostly messages of disbelieve, wondering about the cause of death, I really felt part of a ’collective grief’. And then suddenly it hit me, Eddie must be devastated too, being one of his mates...Followed by a quite selfish thought, or maybe it wasn't selfish at all as I was sincerely thinking about what Eddie must go through right now...Anyway, I just realised that this will ‘put a cast over Eddie Vedder's tour’ as someone carefully described in the Eddie Vedder Europe 2017 Facebook Group while posting this awesome picture of Chris, Eddie, Jeff and Glen:

Someone else even questioned if this news would break up Pearl Jam (even before the reason of his death was revealed). Well, I can’t see that happening at all, I believe it’ll give them more fuel to keep on doing what they’re enjoying the most: making music from the heart. Probably their only way to handle this devastating loss. ​

I just realised as well, that Kurt took his live one week before the Nirvana concert I was so eager to attend (and had waited in line for a whole night in the cold to get a ticket). Well, I still hope that we can share our collective grief with Eddie and Glen next week. I'm sure they'll follow their heart in making this tough decision.

All of this confirmed my thoughts that he was in good shape and feeling well and that it must have been a sudden death due to a heart attack or seizure as I mentioned before. Fortunately, I had some distraction as I had to pick up the kids from school and head off to swimming lessons late afternoon. But still, Chris' death kept on going through my mind, still trying to process it.

​Right after dinner my friend (who broke the news to me) send me another message. ‘Rumors are he committed suicide...’ I somehow wasn't surprised at all and suddenly that eerie feeling was gone. Still don’t understand why though. 

I'll have to pull myself together again, as my life goes on, taking care of my family and doing things in life that I enjoy like expressing my feelings about music and culture through this blog. And hopefully, the rest of the fans can do the same thing, as life is worth living for! And may music keep us united!
Amen.

R.I.P. Chris Cornell 
​
P.s.: Below you’ll find some pics that I’ve added to make sure these memories won’t be forgotten: a compelling story of Eddie, Chris and the ‘uke’, a beautiful painting of Chris, painted by a Pearl Jam fan in trying to process his feelings and who inspired me to process my own feelings by writing this blog. Unfortunately, my whish to see Eddie and Chris perform 'Hunger Strike' live, won't come true anymore. However, this evening someone posted his director's cut of Temple of the Dog Alpine Valley video footage of PJ20, see below as well (many thanks!).

​In addition, I’ve included some pictures of his last solo tour in Australia which I attended in October 2007 (at the time I was living in Australia). Still a vivid memory. Unfortunately, not my own pictures. However, these pictures exactly captured Chris how I remember him standing upclose (many thanks to Faster Louder for archiving these pictures).

Dirk liet nog zien hoe je met een drukmachine van bijna 200 jaar een afdruk kan maken. Met de zogenaamde ‘bengel’ perste hij de inkt op het papier. De afdruk kreeg de juf mee als aandenken om in de klas op te hangen. Hij vertelde dat ze vroeger wel 60 afdrukken per uur maakte. Daar waren sterke armen voor nodig en hoefde ze nooit naar de sportschool!

Met een andere kleinere drukmachine drukte de kinderen hun eigen boeklegger. En liet Kees zien dat als je met speciale witte poeder over de inkt veegt, de inkt snel droogt en niet per ongeluk uitveegt. Nadat de boekjes af waren en de kinderen nog lekker buiten hadden gespeeld, was het tijd voor de laatste verrassing. 

Dirk en Kees stonden bij de grootste drukmachine van het museum en ze daagden de kinderen uit om harder boven het geluid van de machine uit te komen, want ‘dat was nog geen één klas gelukt.’ De machine ging aan en de hele klas gilde het oorverdovend uit. En ja hoor, ze hadden gewonnen! De juf en kinderen bedankten Kees en Dirk met de ‘GOED ZO’ yell dat het einde inluidde van deze interessante, zeer vermakelijke en interactieve excursie.

​Dit prachtige museum is echt een aanrader, zeker omdat vanaf april 2017 op de zolder een hele mooie tentoonstelling gehouden wordt van Fiep Wiestendorp met al zijn tekeningen en de oude boekjes en merchandise van Jip en Janneke. Dus absoluut een bezoekje waard!

In een andere scene speelde de kleedster daarna een jonge vrouw die de wereld wilde verbeteren, haar stoute schoenen had aangetrokken en naar Afrika was vertrokken om verkrachte vrouwen te helpen. ‘Die ogen, die ogen…,’ zei ze tegen een jongen naast haar op het vliegveld (want ze ging met hangende pootjes weer terug naar huis). Al huilend zei ze: ‘Ik wil alleen maar een boterham met hagelslag…’ Weer zo’n ‘normaal’ zinnetje waar je zoveel uit kon halen, waar zoveel betekenis in zat en waar iedereen eigenlijk om moest lachen. Daar draait voor mij theater om, het gewone uit zijn verband trekken, een andere kijk op de wereld geven, het publiek echt laten voelen, of het nou een lach of een traan is, liefde of haat.

Waarin verwende jongens staan te golfen op de driving range die geïrriteerd raken door de vluchtelingen die over het hek daarachter klimmen. De interviewster die aan één stuk door aan namedropping doet van bekende toneelstukken, acteurs en regisseurs zoals Peter Brook, Heiner Müller en Gerardjan Rijnders, van Clarice van Houten tot aan Willem Nijholt die op de poster aan de muur van de ‘kleedkamer’ van de Stadschouwburg staat. Van succesvolle toneelvoorstellingen zoals de Oresteia tot aan Don Quichot en toneelschrijvers als Tsjechov en Shakespeare. En ja, ik heb ze allemaal gezien, het was een complete déjà vu voor mij als ex-theaterwetenschapper en een spoedcursus theater voor het publiek. 

Ergens tijdens mijn studie theaterwetenschappen heb ik toen ook rigoureus besloten om een jaar lang bijna geen voorstellingen te zien…Ik wilde mijn gevoel en eerste emoties bij een voorstelling weer terugkrijgen. Bij de eerste voorstelling die ik daarna weer zag, had ik me nu eens niet uitgebreid ingelezen - zoals een echte Theaterwetenschapper dat betaamde - en liet ik de voorstelling gewoon op me af komen. Het was volgens mij een voorstelling van Alex D’Electrique waar ik groot fan van was met de vervreemdende stijl die mij enorm aantrok. Met Ko van den Bosch als geniale absurdistische acteur en Raymonde de Kuyper die ik laatst nog in een prachtige maar ook zeer cynische voorstelling zag over ‘haar laatste avond als actrice’.

​Zelf was ik helemaal hyper na deze voorstelling omdat al mijn theaterwetenschappenfrustraties eindelijk erkend werden, dat de theaterwereld het ook even niet meer weet, en dat we weer terug moeten naar het ‘gevoel’ en wat voor verschrikkelijke dingen er in de wereld aan de hand zijn die aandacht verdienen.

​Laatst appte een vriendin van mij die naar de Cultuurnacht in Breda was geweest en daar een voorstelling van een Syrische jongen had gezien. Ze moest het gewoon even kwijt, die voorstelling had zoveel indruk op haar gemaakt: ‘Deze jongen wilde met deze voorstelling alleen maar laten weten dat hij gewoon het liefst terug gaat naar zijn eigen land…’ Tranen in mijn ogen, zelfs als ik dit typ. Dat zoiets zelfs via een appje kan resoneren, dat is waar toneel voor mij over gaat! Wat had ik die voorstelling graag gezien.

Op de vraag van Matthijs waarom mensen weer naar theater moeten gaan, antwoordt Cornald: ‘Ik vind het heerlijk om het theater in een staat van verwarring te verlaten na een voorstelling en de spanning tussen het publiek en de acteurs en wat dat teweegbrengt te voelen. Dat heb je niet met een film of als je naar een kunstwerk kijkt. Je komt er dan meer voldaan uit’. Ik vond dat erg mooi omschreven van hem.

Of zoals actrice Anne Rietmeijer (de kleedster/jonge vrouw uit de voorstelling) het verwoordde in ‘Volle Zalen’: ‘Toneel kan verbindend werken tussen mensen en dat is denk ik misschien wel wat we juist op dit moment missen.’ Want de platte definitie van theater zoals ik het ooit geleerd heb bij Theaterwetenschappen is simpel gezegd: theater bestaat alleen als er publiek naar kijkt. Oftewel zonder publiek geen theater. ​​

En dat is precies waar ik jarenlang voor streed, om meer publiek naar het theater te krijgen. Met bijvoorbeeld een Studentenabonnement (later omgedoopt door ACTPACT, alliantie van vlakkevloertheaters in Amsterdam), en als zakelijk leider van jongerentheatergroep ROTJONG, en toen ik promotie maakte voor de niet bekende acteurs en kleinere voorstellingen zoals in de [NES]theaters - tegenwoordig alleen nog Frascati, waar experimenteel theater niet geschuwd wordt. En waar zulke mooie voorstellingen ontstonden en nog steeds ontstaan die echt de moeite waard zijn voor een veel groter en breder publiek. Daar zou ik me ondertussen wel weer hard voor willen maken, na jarenlang in het bedrijfsleven gezeten te hebben en menig product of dienst te hebben gepromoot.

Ik bied me dan nu ook vrijwillig aan om dit soort teksten te herschrijven naar een tekst waarmee je ook de jongeren en de gewone man aanspreekt en ze juist kunt enthousiasmeren voor theater, ver weg van ‘hautaine’ taal. Zoals voor Ondertussen in Casablanca, een theatervoorstelling waarin de kloof tussen oudere en jongere theatermakers juist verbeeld wordt en waarbij de jongeren een nieuwe frisse blik geven op de wereld, op hun eigen en eigenzinnige manier. ​Ideaal voor een groot en breed publiek! En niet alleen voor de grijze witte massa die in het Chassétheater zat.

Voordat ik aan dit verslag begon, dacht ik dat het een blog zou worden over deze prachtige voorstelling en over mijn oude frustraties over Theaterwetenschappen. Maar wat er nu uitgerold is, is nog veel mooier, het is eerder een ode aan theater en een oproep aan iedereen om theater weer nieuw leven in te blazen, met jonger publiek!

Komt dat zien!

Ondertussen in Casablanca, 2 februari 2017, Chassétheater Breda

Oh en nog een tip: vraag me nooit direct na een voorstelling wat ik ervan vond…

P.s.: Met dank aan fotograaf Kurt van der Elst en het Nationale Toneel  voor de mooie foto’s die ik graag zelf had willen maken tijdens de voorstelling om de scenes voor eeuwig vast te leggen. Behalve dan het mooie eindbeeld dat ik na de staande ovatie even snel en voor mijn gevoel ‘stiekem’ geschoten had…

‘Wouw, wat mooi!’ Was de eerste reactie van mijn jongste dochter (5,5 jaar). Nog voordat de gordijnen helemaal geopend waren en ze de balletdanseressen al op het podium zag staan in het overweldigende decor. Even later zei ze verbaast: ‘Ik kan mijn eigen ogen niet geloven!’ Ik genoot met volle teugen van haar primaire reacties. Zo ook de man naast mij. Geïntrigeerd door het oprechte enthousiasme van zo’n klein meisje. En zo ging het eigenlijk de hele voorstelling. ‘Hé, er dansen ook jongens! Ja, jongens kunnen natuurlijk ook balletten, he mama?’